Inspiring Message

originally a repost.

To all the suicidal people out there, i wanted to share this beautiful message by an unknown boy, i found on internet. just read this.

“It has never been easy. When I was sixteen, I knew every potentially fatal thing in my house: Nail polish remover under the sink. Bottle of rubbing alcohol beside it. Hammer in the tool box. Forty foot bridge across the highway. Traffic outside my window. I thought about slamming my own head against a counter until I lost feeling. I thought about punching myself in the face until I stopped breathing. I thought about running out into the street at two a.m. and waiting until a car came. I never thought I’d make it to twenty-five. But I told myself to stay. Just for a little longer. Just to see. So I did. I sat silent amongst my friends, searching for a way to speak. I stopped leaving my house. I swapped sleeping for staying up all night, staring at my bedroom walls. When someone came into my room to talk to me, I started crying. But I stayed. Because I thought, if I plan on dying in a few years anyway, what do I have to lose? And some days I didn’t feel like I was being swallowed whole. Some days I sat by my pool and sang until the sun set. Some days I kissed somebody on their parent’s couch and didn’t feel lonely when I got to my own bed. Some days I listened to a really great song and felt understood, if only for a second. I stayed. And still I thought about bridges. And hammers to the head. And swallowing acetone to cleanse my insides. But slowly slowly slowly I began to understand that it was okay to cry, and shake, and feel anything but okay. I realized that there would still be days that my fist would rise to my cheek. And still, my face would sometimes resemble a bruised peach. But now I tear up my lists of potentially ways to die before I complete them. I replace prescription: pills, rubbing alcohol, & razors with memories of the good days. Of holding your hand through the entire state of Oregon. Of running half-naked down a snowy street three New Year’s ago. Of riding go-carts in the Canadian wilderness. Of smoking cigarettes on the beach in San Francisco with someone I met six months ago. If I had left, we would not know each other. If you feel the same way, stay. For the good days. & the sunsets. And the people out there who understand.” 

 cause the good days will come. :)

Why do We Value Certain Persons or Things?

Yesterday i was thinking about a friend who i value so much, but she doesn't value me as much as i do! Which made me ponder over why do we value certain things and persons, where as other things and persons have little or no value at all! Why? Why is it some people value money while some people don't, why is it that some rich people do not value food where as the poor do! And this same concept of Value lies in all aspects with almost a same reason!  Can you guess what is that? Lets see if great minds think alike!

Deeply pondering over in grief that she doesn't value me, i realized that we value persons and things that are hard to get! Cause if that person or thing was very cheap and easy to get that thing won't just matter to us. Its the same reason why people value sex from decent girls more than they value sex from a prostitute, its the same reason why poor value even a little amount of food they get because they know they have to work fucking hard to feed themselves. I value her so much in my life cause she is so hard to get, she is way too good for me, we can never happen! I am behind her 24/7 and I'm easily accessible to her whenever she wants or i'll do whatever she wants just at her command! I am easy to get, i am almost of very little or of no value to her! I am easy and she doesn't even wanna meet me and i was dying to meet her.. I am of No Value for Her.!

And who has fun in easy things, human mind was designed to push the limits, it was designed to have fun, it was designed to be greedy, It was designed to constantly be active., so if you just get that thing so easy, it'll gradually loose your attention and that thing or person would be left without any value, and you'll just move on. And that's why playing hard to get almost works every time, except when you can't just play in front of that person and completely surrender, you just want that person, thing, or goal in life so bad that you will be ready to loose your value, ready to lose your pride, more your ego, Your everything.


Never lose HOPE. Keep trying cause hope only means,


H: Hold
O: On
P: Pain
E: Ends

But also Know when to stop trying. Make sure you that thing doesn't just destroy you! Take Care.!

Expectations

expectation

ɛkspɛkˈteɪʃ(ə)n/

noun

1. 
   
2. 1.

   a strong belief that something will happen or be the case.

Aren't expectations what Drives out Major Emotions of SADNESS & ANGER? Like the Only Reason you get sad is when it didn't happen according to what you expected, and if that sadness has a mix of Ego and your Pride or Some Personal Feelings Attached, that sadness is easily Redirected to Whats Known as ANGER.

Now,

Do you Know why Most of the time you get happy? Logically why? Cause Something Unexpected happened which is pleasing to you. Obviously you'd have had known the possible outcomes but your Mind had an more stronger point of view on the Outcomes which may be not so pleasuring to you. Like if you Love a Girl or A Boy, you have no idea whats gonna happen if you are to go and tell her or him your feelings, Mostly you've underestimated yourself and you have expected to get a negative Reply and Your mind is Heavier on this expectation cause Expecting things is what Human Mind does, So what happens when He or she says Yes? Unexpected Right? Your Happiness knows no bounds right? :) So Not expecting anything out of anyone is the Key to Happiness! Eureka ♥

Although its easier said than done, you can't just stop your expectations with a snap! You need to remind yourself with everything about not expecting anything from anything or anyone! Keep on constantly Reminder yourself!

Cause it fucking hurts if things don't happen as expected! Feel the unexpected :)

YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL FOR THEM

Ever experienced this? You don't start up a conversation on first hand with that person cause you are busy somewhere and that person never talks with you ever again! You know why? cause they were never really talking with you, they were just REPLYING YOU!

They were special to you, You were not for them, they never really cared or took even a little effort to just keep you in their lives. Honestly, you don't matter to them. Such people would only limit you, they hold you back, they let you mind play games, you won't be able to concentrate on anything but their thoughts like why won't that person ever reply me. Why would that person Never really start a Converstion. If you look at the History Between you two, it was always or most of the time it was just you to start up a Convo,  they never really gave a fuck. You stopped talking, they never even cared to inquire like "Are you alive"? 

Yes, you were never really SPECIAL :/ 

Types of Ignores

How do you feel when people ignore you! the feeling sucks right? it chokes me.. Basically there are two types of ignore

• Is when you are on purpose being ignored! they notice you, they read your messages, they see your pictures, they see your status, but they choose not to reply back to you or even show that they have received your message. Possibly cause they don't want you any more or they have better people to talk to or they just don't Have time for you.

I read it somewhere, "There is a difference between people who free their time to talk to you and the people who talk to you in their free time" .

• Is When you don't have a special position in their life. They probably don't even know they are ignoring you, they are busy doing some work and when they come back and see your posts just with the rest others of posts, and they generally ignore it just like the way they ignore the mass. You probably don't mean them anything. They won't take special efforts to remember like "Yeah, i have this guy/girl. let me check his posts/messages." This won't be happening. They probably aren't even noticing your posts! they don't feel for you the same way you do for them!

But the worse part is, sometimes you don't even know Which type of Ignore you are getting, are they ignoring you purposely or they just aren't noticing you, *this thought could kill you*

Alone vs Lonely

A so-so friend of mine, she once told me there exists a huge fucking difference between being alone and being lonely!
Alone is when "you've got plenty of people around you, plenty of people willing to be your friend, plenty of people willing to love you, still you choose Not to be with them, then you're ALONE, by your own choice."
Wherein, Loneliness is when, you really have no fucking choice, there are no people around you, no one wants to be your friend, no one wants to love you! If this is you, then my friend you're Lonely and that was never your choice! Like who wants to be lonely?
I always had this notion of being alone! As all great people in history have stayed alone, sacrificed their friends,love, family, everyone! And that was their fucking choice! They loved their work more than people, that's what made then great in the first place!  They were alone by choice! I always wanted to be alone, but fate never left me much of a choice! I was left fucking lonely...
The only one person i wish to talk to in this entire world of 7.3 billion humans, and she ignores me!
For me this is kinda like the whole World is Ignoring me....

Super Powers

Who hasn't desired for superpowers? doesn't matter if you a kid or a grown up!
you always end up thinking like, " only if i had superpowers i could fight all my enemies, i could fight away all my problems" right?
Yeah, sometimes even i think so, Sometimes when the miseries reach as high as to choke me i wish i could have superpowers so that i could run away from everything and everyone and just be on my own! fight crimes, rich life, what not! But when i'm in a better state of my mind, i hate this idea of getting superpowers! But why would i hate it? it will help me to achieve everything i ever wanted right? But then it won't be ME achieving it. I would only Be achieving it with the help of superpowers, which in some place of my mind will steal away all the satisfaction and all the happiness and my life would kinda suck, begging to be normal again, begging to be ME again.

Never Get anyone's or anything's help. Be your own SUPERHERO :)

Negative Compliments

Always been thinking what good would the negative compliments bring to me, which i get like 24/7.
Then i saw this movie Whiplash yesterday. I really like a quote from the movie which says "there are no two words in English language more harmful than GOOD JOB."
Isn't it obvious? cause if you did something a little good and somebody says you did a good job, you'd set that as a standard for being called 'Good', even if it may not be good. You'd never push your limits. I also remember Some great Saint Chinmayananda once said, "never keep the limits which are possible, cause if you keep the possible limits, after achieving that you'd stop!"
Keep you limits to something you can never achieve, so that you'd keep on going and going. Like imagine the only and only goal of your life is to become a Footballer in the National Team, Say you become that somehow by some hard work, So what now? the only and only goal in your life is acheived! now your life is fucking useless! you've nothing to do, nothing to achieve. As far as i know, scientific studies says that if you won't have something new to do every time, You'll become one worth less piece of shit, who WAS great, not IS. Strive for the impossible, Work on every Negative compliment you get so that they can't say that ever again!

Wishing For All The Pain

When Something Happened Cause of you, You wished for All the pain in World, not thinking this is the worst wish you could have ever asked for!
Then When you got all Pain in the world You realized, you were never ready for it! you begged for it to go away and just be normal, but secretly you wished for all the pain to continue, cause you deserved it! You deserved every inch of that Pain!

Differences

There's a huge fucking difference between when you listen Music to Remember and When you Listen to Music To Forget something. Volumes High! I needa forget Something.

Similarly there's a huge fucking difference between an Eager man Who wants to read a book and a Tired Man who needs a book to Read! * although this one i read somewhere*